Tuesday, March 27, 2007

I Love Jennifer Hudson




Time is running out James, I'm coming, I'm coming

My 300 ticket

I lost my cinema ticket. This means there is no proof that I witnessed part of Cinema History. You know what that means?.............I have to see it AGAIN

Sunday, March 25, 2007

My Interview on BBC

Emma interviewing me for the BBC website about Christianity


http://www.bbc.co.uk/wear/content/articles/2007/03/25/my_faith_julian_obubo_feature.shtml

copy and paste, its not allowing me to link

I hate Europe

lol. Okay so last night my computer changes its clock, becomes an hour faster. U kno computers, they feel like they so smart. Me, not realising that time had changed to British Summer Time, I got pissed with my laptop and changed it back to 'normal' time. Slept, woke up sunday morning, operating in my own world.
Then it was time to go to church in the evening. Im walking there je-jelly, till I get to the gates of the Minster, all of a sudden I see a mass of Nigerians walking my way. I asked "Where are y'all going to?", "church has finished" they said, half laughing, "didn't you change your clock?", it was then it dawned on me, my laptop had forewarned me, but I being the human overrided it. So here I was, walked to church and walked back, good exercise though. Why can't Europe be like Africa where we never need to change clocks. Arghhhh! lol anyway I'm off.

Motivation

Here's my Langston-style poem on Motivation

"I am not Motivated
I need Motivation
Now"

Friday, March 23, 2007

300


This is Sparta! King Leonadis triumphantly states before kicking this dude down the well. Yes yes y'all, the most anticipated movie of 2007 (apart from Dreamgirls) finally hit the cinemas. And yes it was staright from the cash machine to the cinema again (My Routine!) Anyway, what can I say, this movie is the shit! I mean its off the chain on so many levels! Slow-Motion sequences are breathtaking. Okay one 'pointless' sex scene but nothing too stupid (ain't like Halle Berry was in the movie or anything)So the action starts, blood, chopped off limbs, swords plunging into people, you got it all. Several Mutated humans gives it a Lord of the Ringsy feel. Oh Oh Oh, and the storyline is damn cool too.
Anyway, Iranians are pissed at Hollywood because it depicts the Persian King,Xerxes as an androgynous person, with piercings and Gold Speedos, giving off gay vibes. And yes, the Spartans wear only speedos, helmets and capes (and shields) so gay guys, or bisexuals or bi-curious guys (and straight girls) are gonna have a hard time watching 300 half naked men kill bad guys. For straigth guys to understand how a gay ro female would feel it is like watching three hundred Beyoncé's in revealing bikini's kill bad guys. It's bound to make one go "Wow!" for all the wrong reasons.
Anyway back to the movie. Drama? u got it. Comedy? U got it. Cool Ass Lines? U got it. Straight up kick ass moves? U got it. Boring moments? No, not present. This movie is so adrenaline filled, u come out wanting to kick someone in the chest while screaming, THIS IS SPARTA! And please don't get me started on the cinematography! thats futuristic. Yes I understand the Iranians feeling bad. (Its like depicting George Washington or William the Conqueror as a gay-ish person) thats not really good (nothing against Gays, but straight ppl dont like to be called gay) so yeah, all Persians are pissed (300 is banned in Iran btw) but me I feel bad for them, but I enjoy this movie. A perfect 10.

notice how homosexuality is predominant. Lol!
If u think gayness aint in Africa, check out the practice Amantanyula in South Africa. Lol, funniest shit!- they sleep with boys, but they are not homosexual.

Anyway...back to 300. Amazing movie, amazing performance from Gerard Butler. My advice, beg, steal or borrow....go watch this movie- NOW


Catch a Fire with Derek Luke is out as well. Damn, I'll go broke coz of Hollywood.

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Hallelujah

Yes Yes Y'all. Finally............I cooked RICE. Yeah, and it wasn't sticky and mushy like porridge. Nah, this was single grain rice. It took long research on the internet to find the correct method, but at last I achieved the Ultimate Victory. Hmmmm scrumptious!. Anyway, I won't talk much, I'm bored and lazy

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

In the place to be, and not to be at the same time

So.....I'm back from spending 'three' days with my egomaniac brother in Bradford. Can u believe, I spent 2 nights there and he didn't cook once, coz apparently there's something dead or rotten in his kitchen. He were eating Rajas chicken and burgers. That nigg' just too damn lazy, plus he can't even cook for shit. If William can cook, then Cassie can win American Idol, sheeed! Anyway, the party- Seduction II was trill. I felt like I was in a coal mine, Black everywhere. Two-Peruvians (lol) No drunk people, nobody smoking. That's what I love bout Afro-Caribbeans, when we have a party, we come to dance and have a good time, not drink till you think 2 + 2= 22, damn! Nigerians galore, felt like I was back in Porracut! SHeeed! The only problem was that the DJ spent half the time shouting, spoiling the smoothness of the songs, damn "You must not know bout - shout out to my Dj Richard, big up brrap brrapp! yes yes y'all- me, don't u ever for a second....." So, William, being William, made sure when I was walking with him- that he shook hands with people he normally says 'Hi' to. he had like a 2 min convo with everyone we met, and somehow the convo always had- "Can u believe he is younger than me", "Bearded fool!" "Rick Ross" (my new-Bradford Nickname) and the convo always ended with the dissing of Sunderland. But hell, if Bradford had PR and 'Merican football, I'll be transfer quicker than it takes Matthew Knowles to say "Where's my damn cheque". The damn bus was feeteen minutes late, got in it, listened to Brain McKnight, slept, woke up, got off, walked home. Took a piss and a ****, cooked Penne and Creole Sauce avec Minced meat while I watched the Matrix Reloaded, and now I'm writing this ish. Just read my sistah had an (un)eventful day at Groningen, u know the dutch people they probably have a "UsedAlbertHeijnshoppingbags Museum" no joke. The kinda ish that in Africa, they'll be like man this is a damn waste of nice money. Before I go, the Nigerian guys had a pizza eating feast, six boxes of pizza where finished by 9 guys in less tha 5 minutes, now thats something serious! U come into ur kitchen and see Pidgin talking Blackies eating Pizza with fervour, u dont see that kinda thing often.

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Bradistan

So, I'm finally here. The city of Bradford, aka Bradistan aka Brindia, anyway, as I was in the bus approaching the city, I saw a Sikh temple, I was like "Yeah, I'm here, I've arrived" So, Will's friend- Josh came to pick me up, as in walk me to Will's block. We arrived, the nigg' was in the shower, came down to open the door all drippy and wet. I entered his room, it was like 'da Ghetto' William's room is like a room in Bed Stuy, just a dignified crack house, lol, okay its not that bad, but if u've seen Project movies u'll get what I mean.
And talk about Metrosexual, Will has 3 hair products, and countless body products, talk about 'Fresh to death' I was stank coz I woke up at 6.32, and my metro was leaving at 6.57, so a brother had to rush. Anyway, I'm here, freshened up, can't wait for the great party 2night. Stupid boy has no proper food, only beesqueets and Preengools.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Gettin' my Health on


The British government prescribed fruit intake is '5 fruits a day'. I don't know anyone, apart from toothless old people, that sticks to that rule. But u know Julez, always tryna be a good citizen and all that, I have decided to get healthy, or in ebonics I have decided to 'Get my health on'. Dats right, from now on, instead of having sausage rolls and hamburgers as snacks, i'll now be having canned fruit. Pineapples, pears, peaches, paw paws and all dat!
So, tonight, my flat was out of gas, coz we aint paid shit yet, so I was like damn, what I'm gon eat. I reralised hmmmm, I got pizza, so Imma microwave it (I did that 2 days ago as well), so I microwaved it, and it was good, nice, fresh, but I decided, hmmm it can do with a bit more. So my stupid ass put it back for a further 6.40 minutes and instead of watching it, I came back to my room to look at Jennifer Hudson pictures (damn u Laura!) I went back and the shit was burnt, not burnt actually, just burnt-ish. but no blackness, the problem was that it was now as hard as a rock. I was like "Hell to the mofukin Nawwwww" so I tried to eat what I could of it, which wasn't very much. After that, still hungry, I got my health on, and ate a Fruit Cocktail and Ice Cream- so healthy.

Varsity 2007


The day came at last. Had a team breakfast at Baroque, full english for 3.75. okay, so later that evening Winston was to dress up as a woman, this was due to the bet he had with Dan that he would lose his virginity before March, unfortunately, poor Winston wasn't able to lure the females to his bedroom, so he had to pay the price, adn become Wilma for the night.
Okay, so we lost the game, the final game as Sunderland Kings, we lost 6-0, which in Soccer terms is 1-0, lol! I can't believe it, Teesside had a female player, fo real. and No she wasn't a butch, muscled lesbian. She was this flexible, feminine girl. Dave Tuck, our safety was too scared to hit her, coz she was lady. Haha, had I known I'd have whooped her Portia ass, welcome her to the world of American Football, if she thinks coz shes a lady ppl would avoid her and she'll score points like dat, I say 'Fuck dat', Flatten her and say 'U got served!'
She turned out to be real 'cool', every guy was Oogling over her when she worked the pole, damn, all dat attention, crazy shit.
Wilma came out in the evening, everyone laughed and jeered. The evening was real fun. Ryan was too damn drunk (on his birthday) to go into to the last club. We took the bus back at 1AM, the bus was full of drunk men, chanting (u kno the English and thier chants) and doing crazy stuff. So there, that's Varsity 4 y'ass. Good night.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Just Jokes

There was a Black man, a White man, a Native American man and a Latino man. All four of them were on top of a cliff discussing the difficulties thattheir people had gone through. The Native American said, "My people have suffered the most, and in honor of what they have endured, I will fling myself off this cliff in hopes that my blood will change things."

So he yelled "THIS IS FOR MY PEOPLE", and jumped off the cliff, the Latino, not wanting to be outdone, quickly looked at the other two and followed,yelling "THIS IS FOR MY PEOPLE" and jumped off the cliff as well. The Black man was touched by this and decided it was his turn, so he yelled"THIS IS FOR MY PEOPLE" and pushed the White man off the cliff!

Self Portrait





Julian Ebiye Obubo, closeup of a Legend (lol)

SOS (Same old shit)

So, last night I watched Blood Diamond, really good film, loved it. Went to bed, had a dream I was Djimon Hounsou, running about the hills of Sierra Leone. Anyway, I had lectures at 12.00, I woke up at 9.19 -BLANK! I swear it was kinda scary coz I didn't know what day it was, I sat up for like 5 minutes and I was not thinking, I was just sitting down staring into space, then I snapped back into reality. Some freaky ish! SO yeah, here I am, I have to go shopping today, coz I'm such a lazy bastard. Last night because I was too lazy to go shopping, I ate egg and chicken burgers. Well I had 4 eggs, so I used two for an omelette (extra Hot- yes I dumped chili and hot sauce in it), then I fried another one, normal, sunnyside. Then I fried the last one with spaghetti, yes that nasty yucky Branstons spaghetti (Fuck u Branston, your food sucks) and it was alright, Im not gonna recommend it, but it's not like I puked or anything.
Tomorrow is Varsity, aka American Football in the afternoon, and everybody gets completely and utterly uber-Drunk. As usual, I'll be equipped with my trusty old 'Shaniqua', - that's my Camera, to take pictures of people acting really retarded. So here I am, bored, my horoscope says I should be feeling 'high' on the 6th, it's like a High day 4 me apparently, but No, I feel low and bored. I'm not going to Chase 2nite, coz I gotta get a lot of sleep before playing Teesside. From my Sistah's blog, i can see she is just being herself, plain old clumsy Laura (who closes down her unpublished blogs) Till next time, Stay blessed and eat shrimps (I dunno y I said that)

Thursday, March 01, 2007

R.I.P

R.I.P to the pops of Ludacris and Lupe Fiasco. May their souls rest in peace

Crazy Ishes


So, my obsession with Astrology continues. I have all my ordered books, and when I'm bored I read my natal chart over and over again. Apparently, I would most certainly marry a foreigner, how convenient as Jennifer Hudson is a foreigner! Anyway, my latest Libra book came this weekend. When I held the package I was like wtf? it was like a tape or matchbox was in the parcel. So I opened it up and found this tiny-ass orange book, I must say If I had known that the book was Gary Coleman, I wouldn't have gotten it, but it is a good read. Fun.
Speaking of Astrology, when Andrew and Marlene came during the weekend, they had fun reading my books, Andrew's Yoda toy kept talking randomly and annoying everyone. So yeah what else. On Tuesday I went to Chase with Sipho, amazing club, excellent music, dance-floor may be a tad bit small, but it's alright. I'll definately be going back. Last night I changed my phone language to arabic, I was just playing around, but instead of the phone to stay on the same screen, it went to the home screen, and let me tell you it was a helluva job to get it back to English. When I was done, I was like never ever again, not even French, I'll just leave it alone. So here I am, awaiting the transfer, broke, only food. Over-eating coz I'm stupid, and sleeping wierdly. It was Christina's birthday today, sent her a text, apparently I was the only one who remembered besides Lorenzo and her Momma. I feel good! I texted her to find out if she was doing anything fun, and like I expected, her reply was fullof greif, "nobody remembered my birthday, :-(, sadness, lonliness. But anyway, I don't wanna air another person's laundry on the net, but I mean, if no one remembers you can't remind them? put up a sign or something, wear a T-Shirt with 'It's my Birthday Today', whatever you do make sure people know. lol Anyway, I'm finnin' reading some Public Relations coz I'm smart like dat. My crazy ass Sistah Laura is hooked on the C drug- u know what I mean! she be up all night reading gossip sites- what a Life.