In the place to be, and not to be at the same time

So.....I'm back from spending 'three' days with my egomaniac brother in Bradford. Can u believe, I spent 2 nights there and he didn't cook once, coz apparently there's something dead or rotten in his kitchen. He were eating Rajas chicken and burgers. That nigg' just too damn lazy, plus he can't even cook for shit. If William can cook, then Cassie can win American Idol, sheeed! Anyway, the party- Seduction II was trill. I felt like I was in a coal mine, Black everywhere. Two-Peruvians (lol) No drunk people, nobody smoking. That's what I love bout Afro-Caribbeans, when we have a party, we come to dance and have a good time, not drink till you think 2 + 2= 22, damn! Nigerians galore, felt like I was back in Porracut! SHeeed! The only problem was that the DJ spent half the time shouting, spoiling the smoothness of the songs, damn "You must not know bout - shout out to my Dj Richard, big up brrap brrapp! yes yes y'all- me, don't u ever for a second....." So, William, being William, made sure when I was walking with him- that he shook hands with people he normally says 'Hi' to. he had like a 2 min convo with everyone we met, and somehow the convo always had- "Can u believe he is younger than me", "Bearded fool!" "Rick Ross" (my new-Bradford Nickname) and the convo always ended with the dissing of Sunderland. But hell, if Bradford had PR and 'Merican football, I'll be transfer quicker than it takes Matthew Knowles to say "Where's my damn cheque". The damn bus was feeteen minutes late, got in it, listened to Brain McKnight, slept, woke up, got off, walked home. Took a piss and a ****, cooked Penne and Creole Sauce avec Minced meat while I watched the Matrix Reloaded, and now I'm writing this ish. Just read my sistah had an (un)eventful day at Groningen, u know the dutch people they probably have a "UsedAlbertHeijnshoppingbags Museum" no joke. The kinda ish that in Africa, they'll be like man this is a damn waste of nice money. Before I go, the Nigerian guys had a pizza eating feast, six boxes of pizza where finished by 9 guys in less tha 5 minutes, now thats something serious! U come into ur kitchen and see Pidgin talking Blackies eating Pizza with fervour, u dont see that kinda thing often.