Gettin' my Health on

The British government prescribed fruit intake is '5 fruits a day'. I don't know anyone, apart from toothless old people, that sticks to that rule. But u know Julez, always tryna be a good citizen and all that, I have decided to get healthy, or in ebonics I have decided to 'Get my health on'. Dats right, from now on, instead of having sausage rolls and hamburgers as snacks, i'll now be having canned fruit. Pineapples, pears, peaches, paw paws and all dat!
So, tonight, my flat was out of gas, coz we aint paid shit yet, so I was like damn, what I'm gon eat. I reralised hmmmm, I got pizza, so Imma microwave it (I did that 2 days ago as well), so I microwaved it, and it was good, nice, fresh, but I decided, hmmm it can do with a bit more. So my stupid ass put it back for a further 6.40 minutes and instead of watching it, I came back to my room to look at Jennifer Hudson pictures (damn u Laura!) I went back and the shit was burnt, not burnt actually, just burnt-ish. but no blackness, the problem was that it was now as hard as a rock. I was like "Hell to the mofukin Nawwwww" so I tried to eat what I could of it, which wasn't very much. After that, still hungry, I got my health on, and ate a Fruit Cocktail and Ice Cream- so healthy.