Twenty-Two

Yes, I'm one year older, finally 22. I say finally as if I couldn't wait to turn 22. In truth though, the past year has being the most eventful year of my life, as you probably know I spent most my time as a 21 year old in Newcastle, studying for a postgraduate degree in Media and Public Relations. Well, I'm glad to say that that degree is done, and yours truly is graduating with a distinction. Yay! I've never been prouder of any piece of work as I am of my last dissertation, I pored through journals, articles, books and a gazillion hip-hop songs while researching, and I'm very happy it turned out well. I had loads of help, and I'll post my acknowledgement at the end of this blog post.

I think the theme of my last year has been 'Growth'. When I look back at myself at this time last year, and I look at my self today I'm so happy and humbled at how it all turned out, I owe it all to the fantastic people I met along the way.

A close friend of mine gave me this poignant analogy of life. He said it's like a train ride, and we are the drivers, and different chapters of our lives (being in uni for example) can be looked at as train stations, we pick some people up in these stations and they alter us in some way, positively or negatively. When we get to the next station, some of these people disembark, never to reenter. Others stay on, some stay on till the end of the journey. I guess in someway, the key to real friendships is discerning those who are on the train for a short ride, and those who will be on forever.

I've met some truly truly beautiful and inspiring people, who've not only challenged me in my religious faith, but also on life philosophies, love, and political ideologies. I've met people I could hang out with for hours just talking about any and everything under the sun. I've met people who can call me up at midnight to come eat some extra spicy food (our mouths were on FIRE!) I've spent time with beautiful people who made me rethink my prejudices and fears. I've 're-known' some old friends, and had many special moments I wish I could just bottle up and preserve. In short, it's been nothing short of a very memorable year.

So as I celebrate another year, here's a toast to all of you who made this past year extra crispy, extra special and extra fun, you know who you are. I love you all, I love you all so much! Some of you have left and indelible mark on me, and your words are in constant replay in my head. There are those I wish I knew better sooner, but hey, it's not the end of the world....and there is facebook afterall.

Peace and Love

Julian

P.S.

My actual dissertation acknowledgement

Acknowledgements

I’d like to thank my loving father Rodger Obubo first and foremost for his continued support and constant inspiration. Although this dissertation involved a topic that we could not easily discuss, he always gave me support and good guidance throughout the research and writing phase.

My second debt of gratitude goes to my ‘Facebook support team’ of Tokie Adebiyi, Rob Davies, William Smith, Rotimi Kuforiji and Afo Babatunde who not only showed interest in the work I was doing but also gave me suggestions as to possible lyrics or music videos I could analyse.

I’d like to thank Justin Tay for providing me with much needed distractions and entertainment during the laborious weeks of research and writing and for being an academic sparring partner on issues of identity, race and culture.

Thanks also goes to Dominik Plonner for his inquiries about my work and his probing questions which led to new ideas I could develop in the dissertation.

I owe a big thanks to the entire family at Jesmond Parish Church for their constant motivation and prayers (I needed that!)

I’d like to especially thank my lovely sister Laura for offering to proof read some of my writing and for her academic interest in my work.

I’d also need to thank Dr. Monica Figueroa for introducing me to advanced concepts of race and ethnicities and critical white studies.

To anybody who casually asked me what my dissertation topic was and had to bear through a ten minute monologue from me about why hip-hop is so fascinating, I do owe you all much thanks for getting my brain cogs moving.

My final and biggest thanks goes to my dissertation supervisor Dr. Carolyn Pedwell for her prompt and detailed feedback on drafts of my work and pointing me in the right direction when my ideas became a bit muddled.

I can only hope this work positively reflects the support you all have shown in different ways.

Muchas Gracias

Julian

Untitled

“Hoping that my tomorrows sympathize with my failures today, and somehow your departure would lead to your arrival at my door in years to come. And what was once a chapter would not end up a footnote. That which once blossomed will not wilt with the passage of time”

Julian Obubo

Nostalgia

There is a scene in season finale of season 1 of Mad Men where our protagonist Don Draper described Kodak's photograph slide projector "The Carousel" He talks about it being able to take us to a place we 'ache to go to again' and that is what inspired this poem. Nostalgia, Don says, in Greek means 'the pain of an old wound'

That sentence struck me, it's a pain that we still yearn to have, a sadness that somehow produces contentment, a metaphoric death that reminds us of life. I was in bed when this poem came to me, trying, but unable to sleep, and the words just seemed to come one by one leading me to rush out of bed, grab a notepad and write them down. Nostalgia for me is a bottled memory, a perfect instance in time, a moment of happiness and peace that I can always return to but never reproduce, and this inability to replicate that happiness is the sad part, Nostalgia is bitter, yet sweet, mournful, yet euphoric. These feelings are what informs this poem. I hope you like it

"Nostalgia"

Now memories are my comfort

Now sleep is my succour

for dreams have become my reality

Fantasy has become my truth

Pain has become my pleasure

Loss has become my gain

The past is now my future

Our yesterdays are my tomorrows

Nostalgia, my sustenance

The tragic romantic

Cursed to forever reach, but never grasp

Forever love, but never loved

Julian E. Obubo

August 2010

You can't see the future with tears in your eyes

She grabs my hands
I can feel her cold palm in mine
We've been here for about an hour now
We haven't said a word
I look into her eyes
Like I've done countless times before
and in them, I see something essential to my survival
She doesn't complement, No, she completes me
a peculiar sum, one plus one equals one

The train pulls up
I can feel her grip tighter
tears roll down her eyes
down mine
There's no good way to say goodbye
I'd rather time froze
forever
.... you can't see the future with tears in your eyes

Alone.

Alone, I stand on the concourse
as she pulls away
into the arms of the horizon
... if you see the future, ask it if I'm there.


Julian Obubo. Nov 2009

I've been getting a lot of visitors from Denmark checking out this particular poem, can any of you Danish visitors please tell me why this poem is so popular. Thanks

She

This is a poem I wrote about a year ago, and recently performed at a Variety Show in my brother's university- Bradford. Enjoy and leave your thoughts

"She"
You are the manifestation of beauty
I try to acknowledge
But I simply am not worthy
I'll damage your innocent cocoon
I'm worldly
You are the modern equivalent of ancient Aphrodite
I try to talk to you
But I simply cannot
You are a Godess, I, I am but a Man
You are perfection
You are not my perfect woman
For by me being imperfect, I cannot concieve perfection
But you:
Flawless
situated above others
Floorless
No tongue spoken by any man can come
halfway close to describing the effect your face has on those-
on those who view it,
Your presence nullifies despair
You have no name
No, wait
Your name is 'She'
She is You
You are She
She is Bathsheba
and I am David, transfixed by your celestial beauty
She is the Queen of Sheba
and I am Solomon, your satisfaction is my duty
at your feet I prostrate
Oh!
Venus Incarnate
You are She
She is you
Who is She?