There is a scene in season finale of season 1 of Mad Men where our protagonist Don Draper described Kodak's photograph slide projector "The Carousel" He talks about it being able to take us to a place we 'ache to go to again' and that is what inspired this poem. Nostalgia, Don says, in Greek means 'the pain of an old wound'
That sentence struck me, it's a pain that we still yearn to have, a sadness that somehow produces contentment, a metaphoric death that reminds us of life. I was in bed when this poem came to me, trying, but unable to sleep, and the words just seemed to come one by one leading me to rush out of bed, grab a notepad and write them down. Nostalgia for me is a bottled memory, a perfect instance in time, a moment of happiness and peace that I can always return to but never reproduce, and this inability to replicate that happiness is the sad part, Nostalgia is bitter, yet sweet, mournful, yet euphoric. These feelings are what informs this poem. I hope you like it
"Nostalgia"
Now sleep is my succour
for dreams have become my reality
Fantasy has become my truth
Pain has become my pleasure
Loss has become my gain
The past is now my future
Our yesterdays are my tomorrows
Nostalgia, my sustenance
The tragic romantic
Cursed to forever reach, but never grasp
Forever love, but never loved
Julian E. Obubo
August 2010
5 comments:
aaawww Julian this is really nice. like it!
Loves it!! xx
Well constructed, beautiful use of meter that enforces the strong mood of optimism that you are trying to exude. Although I feel the line "the tragic romantic" should be detached from the preceding verse, either as a third stanza or merging the first 9 lines together. That way you will create a stronger dichotomy of emotions which I feel is the objective of the poet.
Perhaps I may be wrong that mightn't be the objective? Your poem is layered with beautiful, intuitive paradoxes embodying the ideals of romanticism. It is obvious a purging of emotions is occurring throughout the poem, but the self-confessional line 'tragic romantic' halts the mood of optimism somewhat. It is as if the preceding optimism was merely fallacy, as if he is lying to himself, and is back where he started, aching to return but knowing that time has past.
Has triumph overcome adversity or has it become another form of adversity for this ambivalent heart? That I suppose is the beauty of the poem, it's sense of incompletion that makes the reader return to the beginning and search for new beginnings.
"It is as if the preceding optimism was merely fallacy, as if he is lying to himself, and is back where he started, aching to return but knowing that time has past"
that's the crux of the poem really. It's for the reader, and the writer in fact to decide for themselves whether this is fallacy or not, whether it's a longing to go back to the past to change it, or is some kind of pleasure derived from this 'bad' past, or even if they could go back and change it, would he have the courage to?
with the tragic romantic line, I definitely agree it breaks the flow, and I considered removing it. However, I left it in because it clarifies the writers point of view, it gives you a better image of what he is longing for. Without that line, the nostalgia could be about a variety of things and emotions, but 'The Tragic Romantic' line is kinda an (un)welcome revelation that breaks the flow and changes the course of the poem with just two lines to go...so I felt it was quite interesting to leave it in there.
Thanks for the critique man, it's like you articulated feelings I had but could not put into words (Get out of my head William!!)
It's beautiful, tragic and a choice. Nostalgia is useless and impractical. I choose not to look back in anguish to reach. I truly wish for nothing that wasn't or isn't (apart from the return of my father to us. That is enough!). It dwells in the sweet past. I no longer search for it. Too much has surpassed it and I appreciate what is for it's gifts. There is an abundance yet to come. X
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