Coconut

I was wandering through Tesco yesterday and came up to the fruit aisle, I was feeling odd and decided to get an exotic tropical fruit, my first thought was: Mango! but then I recalled that I usually get tummy trouble after eating it..I then thought about Avocado, but I had eaten that a few weeks ago...I scanned the aisle, and my eyes fell on this round, brown, hard fruit...with hair! yes The Coconut. I picked it up and checked out.
When I got home I picked the coconut and stared at it, I asked myself two questions. Firstly, with the absence of a hammer, how on earth was I going to break it open? and then How could I incorporate coconut into my meal?....I also asked myself other questions like Who was the first person to eat a coconut? I mean he or she must have been stranded on an island with absolutely no food, just coconut trees and large stones.
Well, Tesco advises to use the blunt end of a very large knife and hit the coconut at its widest point. I do not endorse this method, as it involves a large blade pointed at your face. If you wanna eat coconut, go to Tesco and get it, then go to hardware store and get a hammer.
Well, I tried the Tesco method and all it did was mess up the kitchen, with coconut hair flying everywhere. My flatmate Vishal (who is less scared of big knives) managed to half the coconut using this method, I then proceeded to break the halves into smaller pieces using our kitchen wall..it worked.
What was left was to seperate the endosperm (or Coconut meat as it is known, but I prefer coconut white....as it does not look like, taste like, or feel like meat) from the husk, this proved a daunting task, and involved us Googooling (notice the extra 'oo' after the 'l', this is to prevent you pronouncing it -Goog-Ling', and since 'Googleing' would add to confusion, I have come up with 'Googooling- Smart!)methods of removing the white from the husk...suggestions included getting 'Indian coconut scoopers from Calcutta'...we didn't have the time, but I had an idea. I decided to boil the pieces for about 20 minutes, this softened the white a bit, and it was much easier to scoop out.
I was eating the remnants of my whole chicken...actually it was still pretty much whole, just missing thighs and wings, so yes, I was eating that, and pasta. I grated the coconut and fried it with the breasts I had carved out, I also added some to the pasta, and it gave it a nice sweet tinge! Innovative!! So yes I had once again formed a new recipe "La Noix de Coco avec le Poulet et Pâtes" (never have recipe names in English it makes it sound normal...use a Latin language instead) which in English simply means "Coconut with chicken and pasta", now you see why French is better!

Unfortunately no pictures of this meal exist as I gobbled it up as soon as it was done.

Oh God I Love Cooking!