The Aviator

My new self-appointed nickname is R.I.(Random Individual) because somehow it's always me (with or without beard) that gets picked for just a lil' bit more extra questioning. The funny thing was that in Newcastle airport, it was the same guy that asked my questions in December- get a life homie! lol
Anyway, so took the train to Utrecht, nice, had a comfy seat, landed at Utrecht then all the problems began, got me patrolling the length of the train looking for a suitable place, eventually the horns started to sound indicating that the train finna' leave. So my Nigerian overtook me and I jumped in like 'What!' stood there and got to Schiphol.
Okay, then phase 2. I was worried that my bag was over 18kg, and if it was I'd have to pay, and I know Murphy's Law- "When a brother gets dough, that's when he gotta pay for some shit he dont wanna pay 4", so at the check-in place I was hoping they had a black woman. I scanned for Negroes but there was none, I saw this Tina Knowles/Chaka Khan lookin mullato chick, she was the next best option! So I got there popped my bag on the scale and thought to myself, If that thing exceeds 18kg, I'll.......seriously I would have offloaded some shit, lol As I popped it on the scale, voila, 16, 17, 17.1 and it stopped at 17.4! I was like thank you God!
Then proceeding to the gate I turned into R.I., this woman Immigration officer talking like I'm some kinda fucking kid! "Let me see your residence card" she said harshly I thought to myself, what! you think I'm illegal Bitch!, brought out my card- yeah read that woman "Geprivilegieerden", that's right "Ge motha fuckin' privilegieerden", that's Privileged mofuka, for those that dont know. She looked at me, and said- you speak Dutch? I looked at bitch and said- NO! I swear as I walked off she eyeballed me! Imagine that!
Anyway, for the first time the planes were on time. I had pre-booked my seat to have a window seat with extra leg space, but to my horror, came to my seat and these East-Europeans were there, - I'm too nice I think, but they looked like they aint used to flying, and anyone that steals someone elses window seat, is pretty darn desperate to look out the window, so I sat at an aisle seat, and slept all the flight.
Landed at Newcastle, and I was R.I. again.
Anyway, some woman came to me and somehow persuaded me to donate to the Pulmonary Hypertension Association, 4.94 a month. I'm an idiot, I'll pray for the victims but I need DVD, so next week I'm off to the bank to cancel those donations. I cant even imagine I was too nice to walk off and say next time, I said so, but I fell into her trap.
Anyway I'm back home, thank God there's no Hollywood to suck my funds- hmmmmm Wild Hogs.

P.S. 70 Euros is 40 pounds- aint that a mofukin bitch! lol, theres pros and cons. Had I bought shit in Holland my bag would defo be over 18 and I'll be in shit.
So bless Holy Mary.

Now time for the Boondocks