Thursday, September 22, 2011

Breakfast in Bed

I’ve never really understood the concept of breakfast in bed. Why would anyone want that? Why would anyone want to eat food without their feet planted firmly on the ground, and why would anyone want to drink hot liquids or even any liquid while in bed? With breakfast in bed, you wake up and prop your torso up, while some supposedly doting boyfriend/girlfriend lays a tray of breakfast on your lap, and you have to keep your thighs perfectly still if you don’t want to spill OJ and scrambled eggs all over your linen.
Futhermore, at least for me personally, I like to brush my teeth and rinse my mouth before I eat breakfast, so the idea of someone waking me up and then offering me food is offensive…Plus, when I wake up I look like I’ve been 10 rounds with Mike Tyson, it’s not a pretty sight, and I definitely don’t want to be enjoying food while I look like death. So for any future girlfriends/wife reading this, don’t ever offer me breakfast in bed, I’ve got two legs, I can walk the 1 minute down to the dining room and enjoy your romantic cooking.
Thanks

5 comments:

Marlene said...

Aww, Baby D! Breakfast in bed is amazing!! What you need is a tray or a bed-table that you can pull up to where you'd be seated ;) And I usually find a glass of water in the morning by your bed suffices.

Unknown said...

Still doesn't feel natural. Legs stretched out in front of you...

Marlene said...

Hope you never have to live in a traditional Japanese or Korean house :P Also just realised that I can only access your blog with a proxy... China is banning your blog from being seen! Haha :D

Unknown said...

My blog has too many revolutionary ideas, so the party has to block me. hehe. I was a bit curious about that, because everytime you commented on my blog, I didn't see any evidence that an IP address from China had visited my blog, t'was a bit of a mystery.
Are you using a Russian registered proxy?

Marlene said...

American. I think I log in through somewhere in Miami.