"When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I felt as a child, I thought as a child. Now that I have become a man, I have put away childish things."
1 Corinthians 13:11
Sex, that three letter word, perhaps the most baffling concept ever known to a child. So many euphemisms concealed the deed that was Sex. The euphemism that confused me most was : Sleep. My Grandma in one of her many stories would say: "She slept with him, and became pregnant" This led me to believe, quite strongly that a woman became pregnant when she slept in the same bed with a man. It was rather simple, but also rather strange, however my young innocent mind did not question it. Somehow, merely sharing the same bed with an adult man caused a human being to start growing inside the 'belly' of the woman. It was quite logical!
On Sex and the church, I'm sure I was not the only one in Sunday school, sitting there wondering what on earth a 'Virgin' was. Mary was always refered to as the 'Virgin' Mary, initially I thought it was her first name, but I noticed that we sometimes said "Born of a Virgin", this meant that a 'Virgin' was something special, something rare, to me a Virgin was a woman who gives birth to special babies like Jesus. Therefore, the whole concept of the 'Annunciation' was lost to us kids, as a key term: "Virgin" was not explained.
Pregnancy was pretty straightfoward as a youngster, the process was simple, a woman had slept on the same bed as a man, and had 'taken in' as my Grandma would say, therefore, a little baby was growing inside of her for some time till it was strong enough to come out...when that time came, she went to hospital and miraculously appeared one or two days later, with a flatter belly and a little baby. What took place at the hospital remained a mystery. My belief was that every women underwent a cesarean to remove the baby, that was the only logical explanation, surely there wasn't any orifice in the body that a human being could naturally come out of. This was my strong belief, but it was always tested when I would hear of women giving birth to babies at home, in the market, in a car...where was the knife? where was the doctor? How was this possible!?
It was when I was rumaging through my Dad's medical books that I saw the process of childbirth illustrated, still it looked very strange and unnatural, the books were telling me that the baby came out of the woman's "underparts"!! (as a child the woman's reproductuve organs were nameless, boy's had penises and what women had was of no concern) I still mantained my belief in cesarean till I saw a video of childbirth, an image that will stay in my head forever, a human being coming out of what till then was a very small hole...the child emerged slimy and looking alien, with a cord attached to it's belly. I had thought children were born clean, with no attachments, and only needed to be clothed.
Finally on the issue of sexuality, the big puzzle as a child: What the hell was a condom? The adverts were so obscure and ambiguous, they kept refering to the condom as a 'raincoat'...a raincoat in a small packet? I was confused. What was this condom thing? Was it edible? Was it some kind of toy? In supermarkets I saw the condoms stacked on the shelves, no one ever seemed to buy them, I knew how the packets looked, but the real issue was what was inside! Why did the adverts not explicitly tell us what was inside the packet? The condom was perhaps the greatest childhood mystery.
But now, old me, the innocence of childhood washed away by the harsh tides of reality. I look back at childhood, at how simple things were, diminished responsibilities, no stress, your life was in your parents hands, and sometimes I wish I had that guiding hand constantly steering me in the right direction, but, such is life. At last the time comes when the parent exits the cockpit, and the son becomes a man and has to fly that plane to its final destination.
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