I've Been Neglecting You. Part I

Wow!

Wow!

It's been 10 months since I last updated my blog. That is SLACKING!

It's been a crazy (in a good way) year for me. This time last year I was sitting at home in Holland, my dreams of doing an awesome internship at the Clinton Foundation were shattered, my plans of moving back to the UK were on hold, it was a testing time. But testing times are why box sets, movies and Mad Men reruns were invented. With the support of my amazing brother Daniel and my super-dad- Dad, I think I had a pretty rewarding year. I may not have advanced professionally, but spiritually and personally it was a blessing. 

Fast forward to January 2012, I'm sitting on a couch, playing with a little child in a little house in a little village in western Germany. The kid is transfixed by The Gruffalo playing on the TV, so I take the time to check my e-mail. I see this:

Dear Julian, 

Thank you for your application to the role of Consumer PR Internship (CWCONINT12a) recieved 23 Dec 2011. We would like to invite you to discuss the role further at our main site in London:

I felt like this inside

But I wasn't in my own home, so I couldn't let the full crazy excitement out, so I just did this:

That e-mail was from Cohn & Wolfe, London. Pretty big deal in UK and Global Public Relations. I had recieved rejections or no replies from other companies I had applied to, so when I got this e-mail I knew I had to grab the bull by the horns (or is it balls?..anyway, I knew I had to be on my GRIND)

Three days later I was saying goodbye to my Dad and Bro, heading on a flight from Amsterdam to London and reading up on 'How to ace an interview'. 

I had a week of solid preparation, lots of advice and prayers from friends and family, and a lot of sleep! Then the day arrived, put on my suit (looked like a black Don Draper) and headed off to Cohn & Wolfe towers to GET THAT JOB!!!......and did I get it? You BETCHA!

Part II coming soon (Wimbledon break)

The African Middle Class: Responding to Amber Rose

Amber Rose recently said this on her first visit to Ghana "what I’ve noticed about Africa since I’ve been here is that there’s extremely rich or extremely poor, there’s no middle class at all" she goes on and says "I’ll like to speak to the rich people and be like, what are you guys doing? help out a little bit" (notice she said ‘noticed about Africa', not Ghana, we're back to this notion of Africa as a homogenous block. How ridiculous would it sound for me to visit Portugal and say, 'what I've noticed about Europe is that')

I question her observational skills for one, she’s been in Ghana a few days, observing it mainly from tinted windows of a 4X4, and yet she feels she is in possession of enough social information to make such a statement as that.

But it doesn’t surprise me, I’ve read and heard many westerners make statements like that. I’ve heard people who are about to visit an African country for the first time say stuff like ‘I wanna visit the ‘real’ Africa’, 'real' is just code for poor. I think to myself, “but you’ve never been to Africa before, how do you know what is real and what isn’t” They have a prejudged script of how Africa is supposed to be, and in their heads they divide Africans into ‘authentic’ (a.k.a poor) Africans and 'inauthentic’ (middle class/rich) Africans. Poor Africans to them are the authentic ones, the ones that don’t challenge their views of Africa. When they see an African in a new German car with an iPod they just can’t compute that the wealth could have been acquired in any way but through a direct exploitation of the poor people they see. So the image of a wealthy African becomes offensive to them because they have come with their colonial/charitable mindset and here are Africans living in big houses not seemingly as worried about the poor as they (Westerners) are. Some travel to African countries to (temporarily) relieve their sense of guilt for living in a materialistic Western society, and the image of an African just as materialistic as they are challenges their views in what was supposed to be a trip about moral self flagellation and finding oneself (as you know, you can't find yourself around shiny cars and flat screen TVs, there have to be poor faces around, with flies casually perched on them, only in the midst of the less off can one realise the purpose of life.)

The problem is many Western amateur social critics, like Amber, never ask these questions about their own countries, Amber Rose can say to a rich Ghanaian, "why are you rich? and why don’t you give that naked kid clothes" as though a comparative disparity doesn’t occur in her country, the USA of all places, we all saw Katrina, we saw America’s underbelly, and it could rival this so called brand of African poverty.

So I can understand the frustration a lot of Africans feel when a Western lens goes to an African country and only records destitution, what they are doing is de-legitimizing the African middle-class, de-legitimizing our stories and histories, they are effectively saying we are traitors to our people because we've risen above what they percieve the standard of African living to be.

Breakfast in Bed

I’ve never really understood the concept of breakfast in bed. Why would anyone want that? Why would anyone want to eat food without their feet planted firmly on the ground, and why would anyone want to drink hot liquids or even any liquid while in bed? With breakfast in bed, you wake up and prop your torso up, while some supposedly doting boyfriend/girlfriend lays a tray of breakfast on your lap, and you have to keep your thighs perfectly still if you don’t want to spill OJ and scrambled eggs all over your linen.

Futhermore, at least for me personally, I like to brush my teeth and rinse my mouth before I eat breakfast, so the idea of someone waking me up and then offering me food is offensive…Plus, when I wake up I look like I’ve been 10 rounds with Mike Tyson, it’s not a pretty sight, and I definitely don’t want to be enjoying food while I look like death. So for any future girlfriends/wife reading this, don’t ever offer me breakfast in bed, I’ve got two legs, I can walk the 1 minute down to the dining room and enjoy your romantic cooking.

Thanks

Nigeria Dreamin' Part III

I have to admit, I’ve been a pretty bad blogger this year, in fact I don’t think I deserve to be a called a blogger after this dismal performance in 2011. My last post was in January, and for that I can only apologize, I guess my reason is that 2011 has been quite disappointing for a variety of reasons, and reasons I felt I didn’t need (and didn’t want) to go into detail (I can’t put everything out there, right?)

So, if the present isn’t all that rosy, what better place to go than to the past, as some of you probably know (from my last two Nigerian Dreamin’ posts) I have very fond memories of growing up in Nigeria in the 1990s. They were indeed fun and mostly happy times, and these posts are a way of reminiscing about those good old days, the celebrations, the recreation, the food, and of course, being kids; the punishment.

Moi, yes, this is how I dressed (sometimes)

Charity begins at home

I think the biggest difference between living in Nigeria and living in the Netherlands can be found in the etiquette of guests. In Nigeria it’s not unusual for a friend to show up unannounced on a Saturday morning just to have a chat about relatives or politics. Nobody called in advance, or arranged a convenient date, you just showed up and hoped the person you were visiting was at home. If they weren’t, you either go back home, go visit another friend who lived nearby or come in and wait till your friend arrived. Even if my dad was sleeping, it was our duty as kids, not to politely turn the guest away, but to go up and wake daddy up, shaking him saying “Daddy, Daddy Mister So-so-and-so has come”. Daddy would rise up, wipe the sleep from his face and come down, and before long he and his guests would be laughing heartily.
There was the customary greeting of guests which was a bit of a ritual, it involved us kids coming, either en masse or one by one to greet the guest. We usually stood close to an exit so as not to prolong what was to be a quick affair. The guest would usually ask about what class you were in, and then make a flat comment like “You’re now a big boy eh” which sounded like a question, but was probably a remark, and so I’ll look at dad, as if to telepathically ask “Should I reply in the affirmative that I am indeed growing or is he mainly stating the obvious”
Once the guest had exhausted all the compliments he/she could give that was your cue to make a quick exit, this was important because some guests were quite...touchy, and would insist you come and sit next to them or on them and endure a three our conversation about fuel prices or Abacha, and you couldn’t really refuse, so you sat there, legs dangling, respectfully bored to death.
Sometimes, if we didn’t have any soft drinks, or beer at home we were sent to go get some cold ones from next door. If you were lucky, dad could give you some coke if you seemed to be quite helpful around, otherwise you waited till the guests left and then raided the living room for any remnants. I still don’t like Guinness till this day, but there was something quite satisfying as an eight year old, finishing the last bit of Guinness in the bottle, you felt adult, somewhat wiser, for this was what ‘real men’ drank afterall.

All play and no work makes Jack a dull boy

My grandma was always rather suspicious of our friends. I think she felt they were either too rude, too rough, or too “un-trained” or plainly didn’t know when they had overstayed their welcome (in Grandma’s eyes if you were still hanging around at dinnertime then you were way past your welcome). So on the occasions friends came over I made sure we went up to my Grandma’s room where I’ll introduce my friend, and they would greet her as politely as possible- this should ideally involve bowing, not looking agitated, and most importantly, remaining standing until dismissed by her, walking off before being formally dismissed was the height of disrespect. After Grandma’s approval, play could then commence.

Me and my super-awesome Grandmother

I think we got a PC in 1998, remember how computers looked back then? CPUs the size of suitcases, and monitors what were half your body weight. Oh and dial-up internet, which was used only sparingly, and took 5 minutes to load up a simple page. Ah, good days.
When we got the computer, dad gave us a lengthy lecture about its purpose- STRICTLY FOR EDUCATIONAL USES. He demonstrated this by buying us a load of CDs, with titles like ‘Human Body in 3D’ ‘GCSE Geography’ ‘Encyclopaedia Encarta’ etc. Of course as young kids our idea of a computers purpose was diametrically opposed to our father’s, and this was demonstrated by the programs we (covertly) installed on the computer, with titles like ‘Need for Speed’ ‘Mortal Kombat’ ‘Duke Nukem’ ‘Street Fighter’ etc

Part IV coming up soon, where I talk about celebrations and punishment.

Strange Things I Do Or Think

1- I don't like the sound of my voice when it's recorded (I sound like a walrus with a cold)*

2- I'm a bit peeved when people don't capitalize the first letters of my name, or anyone's name for that matter

3- I occasionally have dreams where I'm awake but my body is completely paralyzed (freaks me out) (later edit- it's not a dream, it's Sleep Paralysis, and it's quite common apparently)

4-I'm very self concious about my stammer and most things I say to strangers are rehearsed about 5 times in my head before I actually utter them, that's so I can get the least difficult sounds to pronounce

5- I sometimes act out my life as if it were a movie and the things I say or my gestures are deliberate. I even imagine where this imaginary camera filming the scene is positioned (this one is a 8.5/10 on the Weird-O-Meter)

6- Back at uni I sometimes spent up to 4 hours reading news on the web straight after waking up, forgetting to eat breakfast (ok, not breakfast, as I usually woke up after midday)

7- I don't like beer......because it's bitter! (and I think a lot of men secretly agree with me on this one )

8- I get slightly irritated when smiley faces don't have noses- it's :-) not :) ..get it right!!

9- I've been to McDonald's and Burger King a total of about 8 times in my life (but the stats for KFC and other fried chicken spots are considerably higher)

10- I have a playlist called 'Depressing Songs' which I tend to listen to a lot (I'm usually happy though...I think..lol)

* I've never met a walrus with a cold, but I imagine that's how they would sound

Can We Get Much Higher? Kanye West and the future of hip-hop

(Due to high traffic from people wanting to know about Kanye West's song Dark Fantasy which features the line 'Can We Get Much Higher', I've decided to link you to the song Kanye sampled the hook from, it's called 'In High Places' by Mike Oldfield, listen to it here)

Kanye West is due to release his fifth album, titled My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy on November 22. In typical Kanye West style (extraordinary), the album is going to have five different cover artworks, one of which is featured here, another, racier one, can be viewed here. Kanye West has had a very troubled year, ever since his infamous interruption of Taylor Swift's acceptance speech it seemed the whole world was against him, I mean, even Obama called Kanye a jackass. Once the president of the United States of America, sets time aside from Middle East peace talks to call you a jackass, you know you've messed up somehow.

As a devoted Kanye West fan, I like to think I've always understood his motivation, and while I didn't agree with him spoiling Swift's moment, I agreed with his position that Beyonce had a better video (not the best of all time however)

With the increasing vitriol from the media and other artists, Kanye went on a self exile, recouping and recalculating. Some thought Kanye was done, but as a fan, I knew otherwise. Although he says different, Kanye's genius seems to stem from tribulation, whether his nearly fatal accident that led to College Dropout, or the untimely death of his mother and break up from his fiancée that led to 808s & Heartbreak. It wouldn't be a stretch to say that Swiftgate and the avalanche of hate and criticism has led to My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy.

However, my main reason for writing this article isn't to analyse the opinions of Kanye West, but rather to elaborate on what I think this man means for hip-hop as a culture right now.

Kanye has always been a visionary, and his music and artistry are a testament to that, no other hip-hop act could conceive and pull off the Glow in the Dark Tour. But just when you think there's nothing new he could do, Kanye has hit us with his latest venture, a half an hour movie, titled Runaway, directed by West himself.

Yes, you might be thinking, "No!! movies and rappers shouldn't mix", but this movie signals the first time (to my knowledge) of a mainstream rapper directing a film. Does Runaway deliver, you ask? My answer, it does. You may need to banish West's last foray into directing, Drake's breastfest video for 'Best I Ever Had'. Kanye West's short movie Runaway is abstract, full of symbolism, full of music, visually alluring and yes, model Selita Ebanks is there as well..as well as grazing rabbit and sheep. In short, the movie is about a phoenix (Ebanks) who crashes on earth and is rescued by Kanye, unaccustomed to human behaviour, the phoenix struggles to blend in and appears confused by life on earth. She is shunned and ridiculed by Kanye's guests at a dinner, and the final insult is the placing of a still feathered dead turkey on the table in front of her (she is part bird afterall) Disappointed with the world, the phoenix burns up and leaves earth, lamenting that human's always try to change that which they don't understand.

Selita Ebanks as the 'Phoenix' in Kanye West's 'Runaway'film

The phoenix can be seen as a representative of Kanye West's music, or art for that matter, for he is more than just music. Kanye has always sought to push the boundaries of hip-hop, experimenting with new sounds, new artists and new instruments. Just like any sub-culture, hip-hop does have it's boundaries, and some people protest when others 'ignore' it, Kanye did just that, ignoring the drug and gun narratives and instead criticizing hip-hop's fixation with crime. Ignoring entrenched homophobia in hip-hop by vehemently opposing it, and being outspoken about his opposition. Ignoring the homogeneous baggy clothes and rocking tight jeans. Kanye just didn't give a damn what others thought, as far as he was concerned, he is a 'Soldier of Culture', and soldiers don't surrender to trends, or conventions.

Kanye West, his Phoenix and guests at a dinner, screencap from 'Runaway'

The most important thing to me, in Kanye's seemingly one man hip-hop revolution, is his unshakeable love for hip-hop culture, so while he may be in Paris for Fashion Week, or making experimental movies, he brings his interpretation of hip-hop with him. It may be tempting to forego hip-hop when in the space of 'high culture', some purists may cringe at the mixture, but like Murakami at Versailles, Kanye brings two cultures that otherwise should clash into [an] imperfect (in perfect) harmony. He blends Kubrick inspired visuals with boastful rap lines like "How you say broke in Spanish? Me no hablo, me drown sorrow in that Diablo". There is a juxtaposition when you see ballet dancers performing life to music by a man with an MPC beat machine (2010 VMAs) but it's all within Kanye's mandate of fighting against 'traditional thinking', Kanye is redefining the space hip-hop music is supposed to occupy. As a much maligned and disrespected genre even today, these are the kind of artists we need in hip-hop, people who are not constrained by conventional notions of black masculinity, artists who can stand up for what they believe in, not what they think others expect them to believe. Artists who can get inspiration from genres of music that many of their fans may not even like, artists that can channel the emotions on the spoken word into beautiful visual vistas. Artists that refuse to recognize boundaries, artists that take risks.

Kanye West is all of the above, a true ambassador of hip-hop, a visionary. There are not many rappers (not any) who are five albums in, with all five albums sounding very different from the last, that, to me, is the mark of a true genius, someone not afraid of growth or experimentation. Kanye West's step into movie-making, while not perfect, is exactly the type of artistry we need in our still relatively young genre. The dynamism he shows should be embraced by the culture as we attempt to move beyond a conservative definition of what constitutes hip-hop. Kanye West is moving hip-hop further, I say we should support him.

Julian Obubo

Watch Kanye West's film 'Runaway'

Twenty-Two

Yes, I'm one year older, finally 22. I say finally as if I couldn't wait to turn 22. In truth though, the past year has being the most eventful year of my life, as you probably know I spent most my time as a 21 year old in Newcastle, studying for a postgraduate degree in Media and Public Relations. Well, I'm glad to say that that degree is done, and yours truly is graduating with a distinction. Yay! I've never been prouder of any piece of work as I am of my last dissertation, I pored through journals, articles, books and a gazillion hip-hop songs while researching, and I'm very happy it turned out well. I had loads of help, and I'll post my acknowledgement at the end of this blog post.

I think the theme of my last year has been 'Growth'. When I look back at myself at this time last year, and I look at my self today I'm so happy and humbled at how it all turned out, I owe it all to the fantastic people I met along the way.

A close friend of mine gave me this poignant analogy of life. He said it's like a train ride, and we are the drivers, and different chapters of our lives (being in uni for example) can be looked at as train stations, we pick some people up in these stations and they alter us in some way, positively or negatively. When we get to the next station, some of these people disembark, never to reenter. Others stay on, some stay on till the end of the journey. I guess in someway, the key to real friendships is discerning those who are on the train for a short ride, and those who will be on forever.

I've met some truly truly beautiful and inspiring people, who've not only challenged me in my religious faith, but also on life philosophies, love, and political ideologies. I've met people I could hang out with for hours just talking about any and everything under the sun. I've met people who can call me up at midnight to come eat some extra spicy food (our mouths were on FIRE!) I've spent time with beautiful people who made me rethink my prejudices and fears. I've 're-known' some old friends, and had many special moments I wish I could just bottle up and preserve. In short, it's been nothing short of a very memorable year.

So as I celebrate another year, here's a toast to all of you who made this past year extra crispy, extra special and extra fun, you know who you are. I love you all, I love you all so much! Some of you have left and indelible mark on me, and your words are in constant replay in my head. There are those I wish I knew better sooner, but hey, it's not the end of the world....and there is facebook afterall.

Peace and Love

Julian

P.S.

My actual dissertation acknowledgement

Acknowledgements

I’d like to thank my loving father Rodger Obubo first and foremost for his continued support and constant inspiration. Although this dissertation involved a topic that we could not easily discuss, he always gave me support and good guidance throughout the research and writing phase.

My second debt of gratitude goes to my ‘Facebook support team’ of Tokie Adebiyi, Rob Davies, William Smith, Rotimi Kuforiji and Afo Babatunde who not only showed interest in the work I was doing but also gave me suggestions as to possible lyrics or music videos I could analyse.

I’d like to thank Justin Tay for providing me with much needed distractions and entertainment during the laborious weeks of research and writing and for being an academic sparring partner on issues of identity, race and culture.

Thanks also goes to Dominik Plonner for his inquiries about my work and his probing questions which led to new ideas I could develop in the dissertation.

I owe a big thanks to the entire family at Jesmond Parish Church for their constant motivation and prayers (I needed that!)

I’d like to especially thank my lovely sister Laura for offering to proof read some of my writing and for her academic interest in my work.

I’d also need to thank Dr. Monica Figueroa for introducing me to advanced concepts of race and ethnicities and critical white studies.

To anybody who casually asked me what my dissertation topic was and had to bear through a ten minute monologue from me about why hip-hop is so fascinating, I do owe you all much thanks for getting my brain cogs moving.

My final and biggest thanks goes to my dissertation supervisor Dr. Carolyn Pedwell for her prompt and detailed feedback on drafts of my work and pointing me in the right direction when my ideas became a bit muddled.

I can only hope this work positively reflects the support you all have shown in different ways.

Muchas Gracias

Julian

Untitled

“Hoping that my tomorrows sympathize with my failures today, and somehow your departure would lead to your arrival at my door in years to come. And what was once a chapter would not end up a footnote. That which once blossomed will not wilt with the passage of time”

Julian Obubo

The Autobiography of Malcolm X

I've said before that reading the Autobiography of Malcolm X was a life changing experience. Malcolm X is one of the most studied and misunderstood American cultural icons, and his story, although that of a black man born in Nebraska in 1925 resonated with a young Nigerian boy born in 1988 and living in Holland.

Today, I share with you an hour long radio documentary produced by the New York Public Radio on the Autobiography of Malcolm X. The documentary covers the peculiar relationship between Malcolm and writer Alex Haley, and several interviews are done with scholars and others who have been influenced in some way by the book.

I urge you all to have a listen, it's enlightening.

Here's a link to the Studio 360 website with more information about this radio special- http://beta.studio360.org/2010/sep/23/

Summer

We haven't exactly had the dryest or hottest summer over here in Newcastle, but Saturday was a pretty beautiful day and while hanging out in the park with Justin and Judith, I managed to get this shot that in my opinion captures the essence of summer. It's definitely one of my favourite shots I've ever taken, I hope you like it.

Portrait of a Man

Julian E. Obubo

picture taken by Justin Tay

Nostalgia

There is a scene in season finale of season 1 of Mad Men where our protagonist Don Draper described Kodak's photograph slide projector "The Carousel" He talks about it being able to take us to a place we 'ache to go to again' and that is what inspired this poem. Nostalgia, Don says, in Greek means 'the pain of an old wound'

That sentence struck me, it's a pain that we still yearn to have, a sadness that somehow produces contentment, a metaphoric death that reminds us of life. I was in bed when this poem came to me, trying, but unable to sleep, and the words just seemed to come one by one leading me to rush out of bed, grab a notepad and write them down. Nostalgia for me is a bottled memory, a perfect instance in time, a moment of happiness and peace that I can always return to but never reproduce, and this inability to replicate that happiness is the sad part, Nostalgia is bitter, yet sweet, mournful, yet euphoric. These feelings are what informs this poem. I hope you like it

"Nostalgia"

Now memories are my comfort

Now sleep is my succour

for dreams have become my reality

Fantasy has become my truth

Pain has become my pleasure

Loss has become my gain

The past is now my future

Our yesterdays are my tomorrows

Nostalgia, my sustenance

The tragic romantic

Cursed to forever reach, but never grasp

Forever love, but never loved

Julian E. Obubo

August 2010

Let's Get The Proceedings Proceeding This Evening

I've been neglecting you dear blog, but I'm back, I'm back, and I think I'll try to update you a lot more regularly.

So where shall I begin? Just what have I been up to this past month? Well, two things really- Dissertation and World Cup, but more of the latter. My productivity would have been a lot higher if this World Cup was in a crazy time zone that meant matches were at midnight or early mornings....but no, this World Cup happened to coincide with peak library time, and when you're faced with the choice of reading The Dialectic of Sex: The Case For Feminist Revolution or watching Brazil vs. North Korea, I know which one I'd choose.

So I'm pretty much very relieved that the World Cup is over, I can now focus wholeheartedly on this dissertation at hand. I've been pretty pleased with my work rate so far, it's much better than my progress last year...and having a fastidious and prompt supervisor is also a great benefit.

I shouldn't really use my blog to talk more about my dissertation, it seems that's all I do in real life, and it can get quite repetitive.

Well, apart from the dissertation, my life's been pretty unremarkable really, well at least unremarkable in terms of stuff I'd like to publicize on my blog. Other 'aspects' of my life have been pretty erm..unusual to say the least, and I'm still ruminating and getting my head around what's been happening, I've been learning about myself a lot lately, and yeah.....hopefully everything'll turn out well.

So yeah, that's been me, still kicking, still boring, still trying to squeeze out a little bit of fun out of the mundaneness of postgraduate life. Still Julian.......let's get the proceedings proceeding this evening.

Live, Love Life, Give Love!!!!

I think this is how my thoughts are at the moment

Wedding Pictures

I was part of the official photography team at the wedding of my friends Estelle and Onn Yik, now Mr and Mrs Yong.

Here are a few of my favourite shots I took at the event. Click on them for a larger version

You’re Beautiful.....for a Black Girl

This article first appeared in the May 2010 edition of University of Sunderland's DN Magazine

On John Mayer’s Playboy interview and Black Female Beauty

John Mayer has since apologized for his ill-thought-out interview with Playboy magazine where he made disparaging remarks about his exes Jennifer Aniston and Jessica Simpson and compared his penis to former KKK leader David Duke when asked about his sexual relationships with black women.

Before I go in with the article, here’s an excerpt of the ‘David Duke Dick’ comment-

PLAYBOY: Do black women throw themselves at you?

MAYER: I don’t think I open myself to it. My dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a fuckin’ David Duke cock. I’m going to start dating separately from my dick.

Now, for those who have seen Mayer’s now famous apology, he blames the whole incident on trying to be clever when being interviewed, he admits that this ‘cleverness’ obviously hasn’t worked, and he would stop playing the media game and just play his guitar.

I won’t consider myself a fan of Mayer, but I do have a couple of his songs and I have watched a clip of him playing the guitar- it’s clear that this man is very talented. After this interview came out my opinion of him dropped significantly, Mayer seemed to be playing on that notion that as a white guy he can say something racially insensitive, but because he has ‘black friends’ it’ll be okay. I think Mayer bought into this illusion of ‘honorary blackness’ which caused him to not only use the ‘N word’ in the Playboy interview, but to trivialize the experience of being a racialized minority in America by stating “What is being black? It’s making the most of your life, not taking a single moment for granted. Taking something that’s seen as a struggle and making it work for you” (emphasis mine) Mayer is suggesting that the limitations and confinements that being racialized imposes on the subject are not real struggles, but merely perceived to be so. This viewpoint erases the fact of power imbalances that are central to all forms of discrimination and sees being black as merely experiencing specific discomforts in an otherwise easy life.

However, my principal reason for writing this article was not Mayer’s definition of being black, but rather his thoughts on black women. I probably wouldn’t have written this had I not read a blog by African-American academic Marc Lamont Hill, who while rebuking Mayer for his comments suggested “Next time, John, just say “Everybody has their preferences. Black women haven’t been mine.” Then, no harm, no foul.

No harm, no foul? Really? Now this is not to say if you are a white man and you don’t consider Kelly Rowland beautiful then you are a racist. No, I’ll break it down further.

The statement- Everybody has their preferences. Black women haven’t been mine is a product of an idea that not only can black women never be considered beautiful or preferable, but it is odd for a ‘white’ man to consider a black woman beautiful (or in Mayer’s case attractive enough to sleep with). In fact, the Playboy question which led to Mayer’s answer (and Lamont Hill’s suggested answer) was ‘Do black women throw themselves at you?’ this question is already loaded with the premise that there should be some sort of compartmentalization of women based on ‘race’. So while it’s a given that women throw themselves at rock stars, the question wants to know specifically if black women also do it, and how do white rock stars react to these women whom American society has historically vilified and maligned.

Lamont Hill’s suggested response Everybody has their preferences. Black women haven’t been mine also suggests that there is something essential in ALL black women that causes them to be preferred by some, but repels others. His suggestion was not Everybody has their preference, Whitney Houston hasn’t been mine, but his use of the term ‘black women’ homogenizes all women who fall under this term, and the only possible factor for this homogenization is their skin colour.

The other side to that reply is Everybody has their preferences. White women happen to be mine, perhaps this clearer illustrates the racialized framework from which that response arises. It disregards the individuality of women, and links their desirability to one physical factor- skin colour.

But it comes as no surprise to me that racialized people have internalized this assumption that because of their essential physical difference, they can never be considered desirable. This is the message that is transmitted subtly and not-so subtly around the world, particularly in the beauty industry. This is what causes dark skinned Asian and African women to put toxic chemicals in their skin in an attempt to be lighter. This preference for European facial structures is what leads South Korean women (and men) to undergo surgery in order to have larger (read European) eyes and cheekbones.

I guess the issue at heart here is not just this social construct we call race, but also the continuous reduction of women to physical parts. Hair colour, breast size, and race are seen and encouraged as serious markers for desirability. The hegemonic white-male normative gaze will then always reproduce notions of race based desirability, often at the expense of ‘black and brown women’

The second part of Mayer’s original reply was his crude reference to his penis. His admitted attempt to be clever led him to say he had a ‘David Duke cock’, for those that don’t know, David Duke was once the Grand Wizard of the Knights of the Ku Klux Klan an organization that historically used the rape of black women as a form of terror. This was who, Mayer in his ‘cleverness’ decided to liken his penis to? It displays the mind of a vulgar, insensitive and ignorant man, who would choose to be shocking simply for the sake of being shocking.

In preparing this article, and reading other people’s thoughts on Mayer’s words, I have come across those who say ‘perhaps you are reading too much into it’

It is a sad state of affairs when someone can say something so misogynistic and racist, and people still think it shouldn’t be explored further. There are many John Mayers out there who just say things without understanding the process that led to them having that thought in the first place. When aspects of racism or sexism are normalized in a society we can simply utter them without a thought, we are unaware of the complex power structures that led to the normalization of our words. Only by vehemently disabling power disparities and deconstructing our society can we come to make a truer sense of the things we consider normal.

Summer Ball

I had the chance to use my D5000 at an event this weekend. The Globe Summer Ball was yesterday at The Assembly Rooms in Newcastle.

I think the camera performed flawlessly, below are a selection of pictures from the event.

I decided to go with a Malcolm X inspired look for the ball, hence the old-school glasses, you shall be seeing it more often!

Click the images for larger versions (and witness the awesomeness of the camera....check out that sharpness!)

The New Look

Ladies!

Katrin

With Rachael

Marlene Swing Dancing (or air cycling)

With Lois

Koslowsky!!

With Ben

With Marlene

Katrin, Marlene and Rachael

New Camera: Meet Stephanie

Hooray, I have finally purchased my first DSLR camera, and what a great one it is. I've now got the Nikon D5000. I was planning on getting the D3000, which has less features than the D5000, and is also significantly cheaper, but after a little investment and advice from my economist father, I was able to gather enough funds to get the D5000.

A friend of mine, Justin, was also on the search for a new camera, and he had set his eyes on the Canon 1000D (after the Canon salesman at John Lewis had lobbied heavily in Canon's favour, pretty much saying Canon was the be all and end all of photography. Period!)

Justin called me up on a wet and overcast Wednesday afternoon, saying he lacked inspiration while writing his essay, and was prepared to buy the Canon that afternoon. Lacking inspiration myself, I considered it an inspired idea to go camera shopping. So I grabbed a jacket and put on my shoes and we went off to John Lewis to buy our respective cameras.

When we got there, we asked the saleswoman if we could handle the Nikon D5000 and the Canon 1000D respectively, she obliged, and I think she was expecting us to ask her a few questions about their functions, little did she know that we had engaged in endless research about the cameras. After about 20 seconds looking at the cameras, we looked at her and said 'We'll take em' She looked back at us, surprised. It was like we were a bunch of young millionaires, buying expensive gadgets on a whim.

She went to the backroom to get the cameras, but when she returned, she only had the Canon in tow. Alas, John Lewis was out of D5000s. She looked disappointed, I looked disappointed. She asked if I would be prepared to wait two weeks for the D5000 to arrive. "Two weeks!!" I thought, "Increíble!!" I needed it now!. So with sad faces we parted (well Justin had a smile on his face) and went right over to Jessops.

Walking right over to the till, I demanded to purchase the D5000, the cashier looked up at me and said, 'would you like to look at it first?' I replied, 'No, that won't be necessary, thank you' ...slightly bemused and amused she went off to get the camera.

There it was, the gold and black packaging gleaming. I was satisfied!

I have a habit of naming my cameras, and this Nikon D5000 has been named: 'Stephanie' (from the Greek: Stefanos, meaning 'Crown') a fitting name I think.

I haven't yet had the oppurtunity to take her out and take pictures of Newcastle (due to adverse weather conditions and academic commitments) but I shall show you a few pictures I took in my room, and a picture of the camera itself.

Lens cap, taken with the D5000

My mugs, taken with the D5000

My street at night, taken with the D5000

Stephanie (my Nikon D5000)

What Babies Have Taught Me

I've been waiting for something of some significance to happen in my life before I got back to blogging, but it seems my life has been going unremarkably well, and that is a good thing of course, no news as they say is good news.

I think we often have our senses primed for drama and grand gestures that we often miss the small 'insignificant' details in our lives. Personally these small details rejuvenate me to some degree, these details make me aware of my humanity, make me grateful and alive! It could be the smile and nod of a stranger on the street, or watching people scurry by with their shopping, listening to a song you haven't heard in a while or looking at really old pictures you had forgotten about.

One of the most humbling feelings I've had lately was holding a month old child in my arms and feeling a sense of serenity I hadn't felt in a long while. The pure innocence of babies is something to envy, they are blank slates that haven't been tainted by the harsh realities of life. In some way it reinforced my personal belief that we all have goodness inside of us, I look at babies as sort of the basic stage of humanity, and to realize that we were once all innocent and pure strengthens my resolve to restore balance and harmony amongst those around me. It would be naive to think that we can return to this 'time of innocence' but I think we can learn a lot about improving interpersonal relationships by observing young children.

We live in a very technological world, where electronic communication often supersedes face-to-face human interaction, and I don't mean to deride electronic communication (I am an avid facebook user afterall) but it has fundamentally changed our behaviour in ways that I'm still coming to terms with. Events that would have only being in our memories 20 years ago are now easily documentable, we have our facebook albums, our msn and skype chatlogs and our saved text messages to always remind us of this interlocking of technology and humanity. We don't need to ask anyone anything any more, because we are expected to Google it first. We lose that longing to pick up the phone and call someone we haven't spoken to in years because we can easily check their facebook pages to see what they've been up to. It is as though we are constantly broadcasting our lives. Life has now become an elaborate technological ritual.

That is why it is so beautiful to see experiences that have no technological substitute, to witness events that remind us of being biological creatures, to see life produce life, human bring forth human. Watching a child suckle, or cry or grab a finger placed in their little hands reminds us of those basic and intrinsic characteristics we have as humans, characteristics that we haven't learnt but are pre-programmed in all of us, these things babies do aren't social rituals, they are primitive signs of life, they are our biological customs if you will, customs that suspend every human social construction be it gender, class, race or nation. Reminding ourselves of our common humanity is the first step in building a better world.

Julian E. Obubo

A Very Mini Reunion (but an amazing one nonetheless)

Planning a high school reunion is a very challenging task, especially when some of you are on holidays and most others aren't. We had our last reunion in 2008 and turn out was very good. This year we tried to recreate that and planned a few weeks in advance on facebook. It seemed every other reply on the thread was someone saying they couldn't make it, the reunion looked like a failure even before it occurred.

Anyway, we planned to meet on April 6, in Arnhem. By the evening of April 5th, it seemed it was just gonna be me, Marjanne, Marlene and William at the reunion (a.k.a just another day in North East England...and William) the plan was to visit our old school (there were no classes, but I received word that teachers were having a meeting) and then drive up to Amsterdam and possibly meet up with Beerd.

Well, meet up at Arnhem Central Station we did, and drive to the AIS we did as well, only to be confronted by a locked gate, and what seemed to be a school building devoid of life. It seemed by intel* was incorrect, nobody was here, cars were parked in the parking lot, but no one was in the building. Desperate, we spent about 10 mins walking around the school looking for entry points, but every door was firmly locked (side note: the front gate is quite pointless as you can easily get to the school from the back...just sayin')

After hanging around and thinking of various (illegal) ways to enter the building, we decided to call it off and head up to Amsterdam. With Marlene driving, we got on the highway and headed to the capital.

With William in the car you can be sure the discussions were lively, crazy and sometimes absurd (William's trademark) but it was fun.

Arriving in Amsterdam, we found a parking lot and promptly found a toilet as I felt my bladder was at tipping point so to speak. It was the best urination experience I have ever had, unexplainable relief and lightness, it was bliss!

Anyway...we headed off to Dam Square to meet up with Beerd, who I hadn't seen in four years.

He arrived in a cloud of smoke, well not really a cloud...with a cigarette perched daintily in his right hand and and iPod earphone hanging from his left ear. After embraces, compliments and salutations we headed off to find PANCAKES!

Finding a spot next to the flower stalls (and blocked from the shining sun) we settled at the 'Old Dutch Pancake House' which billed itself as having the 'best pancakes in town', right next to it was another pancake house which also claimed to have 'the best pancakes in Amsterdam' clearly one had to be false, but we didn't have time to sample both menus and decide. We talked, laughed and ate our pancakes and then decided to head up to another cafe in Rembrandt square.

This time we were exposed to the full rays of the sun (and also exposed to noisy trumpet players and tone deaf guitar players) but it was a nice place, soaking up some sun and catching up.

Learn to sing before performing in public

Afterwards we headed back to Beerd's place and chilled for a while, drank some good tea and discussed whether or not Avatar was a good movie before we had to head off back home.

We crowned the day with a few pictures and were greeted with extensive posing and modeling by William.

It was a very good day!

Hopefully at the next reunion we would have a higher turn out. It's always good to see what former classmates are up to and to have discussions that cannot be had on facebook or msn. You can poke on facebook, but nothing beats a real hug! (I've copyrighted that phrase)

* intel was provided by my younger brother, Daniel

Here are some pics! (click for a larger rendition)