Mobile Blog

Couple blogs I wrote on the Pocket PC

September 15
Right now i 'm in the train 2 london victoria station, i'm going 2 see my old schoolmate, Adetoun Adélé, I know you're probably wondering how I’m writing this well the answer is pretty simple. I am using a Pocket PC, which means I can now write my blogs from anywhere, however the downside is that, it is so annoying to type in, as you have to pick all your letters individually, and the tediousness of picking your letters prevents you from writing really long blogs, as your hand will be pretty tired by the time you're done.
Speaking of being done, i'm done with this blog. Peace out!

September 16
Here I am, writing another mobile blog, I didn't know that my laptop was low on battery power, so I decided 2 refill my mp3 player on the coach 2 sunderland, needless to say, my laptop died during the process and now I have no songs on my mp3 player :-( and there's still 3 hours left in the trip.......I hate laptops.....arghhh!!!, this proper sucks! I'm out....

Back Back Back

Yeah your Boy is back, after internet troubles I is Back. the fact is that my internet troubles were easily solved, the problem is that my downloading program- Ares was taking up so much memory, so internet was running slow....i have to shut it down when I want to browse. Anyway....I'm back to Uni now, started on Monday...I came back to Sunderland on the 16th all excited coz i thought the party scene in Sunderland would be live, seeing that its freshers week...well I was very very wrong...it was Boring......very boring. Anyway I have just seen heard Alicia Keys song "No One"...and honestly I haven't heard anything like it.....it is absolutely beautiful, it will sound brilliant live! Yeah besides that....nothing much has gone on...I'll put on a couple of mobile blogs I wrote.

Hihi

Okay, I have been a very terrible blogger. Is it laziness, is it purposeful neglect, have I abandoned blogging?, I really don't know what happened, let's just be happy that your favourite blogger is back. When I returned from Nigeria in August, I promised I'll write a blog on my experience....as you can see...there were no blogs written in August, so I'll try to write a bit of my Nigerian experience here.
As you know Common's album "Finding Forever" was released on July 31st, and I have been bumping it ever since, the soulful samples of Kanye West calm my soul, while Common's hard, witty rhymes make me bump my head and smile, because real hip-hop has returned. (I'll be writing a review later)

What I found out...

1- University scrolls are blank (for some dumb reason I thought that was the certificate)
2- Porters deserve high payment (it takes a lot to push an airport trolley for a few mintutes, certainly worth more than 200 Naira)
3- One needs a bulletproof vest to go to the airport (coz there's a high chance of getting shot)
4- Someone is always shitting at the waterside when you want to take a picture of the river (Always)
5- Photographing butterflies is really annoying (....why are they called butterflies anyway, do they eat butter...or look like butter...or can you make butter with them??)
6- Okada's are quite safe (but I won't ride them again)
7- Nigeria is dangerous (DUH!)
8- Nigerian girls are pretty (some are UGLY!!)
9- The King's wife is fine (what...it had to be said)
10- Some people can speak pidgin, but not proper English (damn...)

Anyway, I promise never to neglect my blog again....Amen (I hope)

...and as for the blog title (Hihi) it's pronounced "HeeHee" not "HighHigh", it's like a snickering laugh after doing something stupid. Hihi

One day it'll all make sense

I’ve been thinking a lot about songs, and their meanings. One song that struck me was Lyfe Jennings “Let’s stay together”, now I know he meant well, but his delivery was “terrible” to say the least…The song is about him trying to persuade his partner and mother of his children to stay with him and rethink her decision to leave..he had a line that went: “Don’t do it for the kids, do it for me” now he meant “ Don’t do it JUST for the kids, do it coz you love me as well” but poor old Stick Up Lyfe was too caught up in making the song, he comes across as a paedophobic father….like “Forget the kids, stay for me”
Anyway, I’ve been thinking about Beyonce Knowles’ contribution to the English language, or at least the urban-English language. She brought us ‘Bootylicious’ which is a compounding of Booty (the female derriere) and Delicious (yummy!) combined- (Bootylicious- “yummy derriere”, actually a derriere that obviously protrudes and is made up of a well developed and toned Gluteus Maximus) Note: “Badonkadonk” is generally considered to be a step ahead of Bootylicious, meaning- the fact that one is bootylicious does not automatically mean they have a Badonkadonk, but a girl with a Bandonkadonk is bootylicious- u get me?
Beyonce threw out the ‘white media’ infused ‘tight-butt’, which personally I find very disturbing…why would anyone want a ‘tight butt’??
Beyonce, with her second album ‘B’Day’ brought new terms like ‘Freakum Dress’…and no it’s not a salad dressing…it’s actually a compounding of the words ‘Freak’ (to make someone hyped- sexually) and ‘Him’ (pronoun for a dude) combined: Freakum. Therefore a Freakum Dress is a dress a woman (usually) wears that gets the hormones running in her man, causing him to do freaky shit with her. Beyonce also popularized the term ‘ You must not know bout me’ (English trans: I doubt you know me very well) It is now a common saying amongst couples across races…when a boyfriend trips, his girlfriend assumes the position (arms akimbo, or folded, head nodding as she says ‘You must not know bout me’, fingers may be snapped for emphasis)

I just read that my girl Kelly RoRo aka Kelly Rowland, collapsed while performing in Lagos State, Nigeria…that’s some trippy shit I wonder what song she was performing….. “I told ya I was gonna fall like dis *collapses*…crowd goes crazy!!!!!” lol. It’s a shame, she went to my home country and fainted on stage from dehydration…why didn’t she drink water…lol. I love you Kelly!!! I’m gonna get the album too. I hope she didn’t faint early in her performance, coz that would suck for her fans who paid 10 Gs to see her.

Back from the Dead-ish

So...I haven't written a blog since the 22nd of June, not because nothing has happened, believe me a lot has...(shemar moore is gay, Tyler- maybe?, lol) but for real I just lack the motivation. I find myself sleeping late, then waking up at noon, watching scrubs, eastenders, nigerian movies etc. This new 'satellite' aint really all that. When I was told we had it back in England, I was told we had 200+ channels, now 200+ in my head meant 200 different channels, not BBC1 England, BBC1 Wales, BBC1 Scotland, BBC1 Little Island in the sea of the coast of Ireland. We have a plethora of odd channels like teachers tv, Information channel...wtf is an information channel..."Hey we are the information channel, where we give u information" Information!!! "of what??" we also have Audi channel, Muslim Tv and Wedding Tv..which happens to be Laura's favourite...and which happens to also recycle their programs, not like there is a lot of variety anyway...eLove, For Better or for Worse and that's about it...$5000 for ur wedding...everyone panicking, idiots running late when the ceremony is about to begin, but mysteriously finish up and grab a shower and get dressed in time.....Wow! As for me I constantly flip thru the music channels looking for Kelly Rowland ft Eve.
Speaking of Tv, I have recently influenced Daniel and Laura to watch scrubs (Joy is too busy dancing to Jonathan eyyy!*electronic voice*) Laura cannot deny that Scrubs is funnier than anything Madea can concoct...she is yet to admit that she is a fan...but the day she secretly watches Scrubs online is not far off.
What else has been eventful....Well like two days ago, a fuse in the house started tripping...immediately we changed it, it'll blow up..we tried and tried and tried, no respite. Anyway today we discovered that it was out evil kettle that was causing all the palaver. 'Stupid limescale ridden machine', with the electric kettle down, we have to resort to the ghetto method, or rather old school method of boiling water over a fire....i.e. no more hot chocolate for me.
I'll try to keep updating my blog regularly..since I would be a away from my PC during my time in the cradle of civilisation a.k.a Los Village. I will have to keep a diary of my adventures, hopefully my time should be as eventful as the last time I was in Nigeria, where I killed a snake!...Gangsta Boogie!
Anyway, Pops is back from work, I'm done here. If you were expecting something extremely Hilaria then.....keep waiting

Babysitting

I'm 18, and I aint never babysat in my life. Well all that was going to change today, when I was put in charge of a little 5 year old girl that I barely knew, in fact I met her on wednesday. But her moms has to go to the Police, so here I am, good samaritan that I am, babysitting. With freetranslation.com permanently on so I can communicate. Woman doesn't regard her kids, its someone elses kids she's bothered about. But....that's another thing.

Late Registration

So, the time has come for me to leave the Forge. My coach was at 8.55, so I was ready by 7.40, ready to give my keys in early, in case they did routine checks on the room. To my amazement…nothing! Just sign, hand in keys and that’s it! I was shocked! I mean, I know the Forge is no longer gonna be used, but what if I vandalised the room, stole curtains or stole a sink, or stole the toaster or the microwave!....yeah they could contact me later, but it’s gone for now. Anyway, the Metro was down, so I had to walk to Park Lane, got there, saw tons of old people, I was like “Oh, Hell Naww” they aint all goin to London, luckily…they were catching other coaches! Anyway, I got in, took my usual spot at the back (Julian Parks) and chilled to music, hoping no one came to sit next to me……but all that was short-lived…at Middlesbrough, there was a whole lotta people ready to get it, and my technique of ‘bag on the next seat, and eyes shut (pretending to be sleeping)’ would be viewed as selfish and mean. So I removed my bag and made the seat available, but still shut my eyes, coz it’s kinda weird to sit next to a sleeping person…or so I thought! Next thing, this noisy ass family have trapped me, their youngest son was like a kid on crack, restless, and the two girls in front of me were equally as noisy. I had no choice; I had to force myself to sleep….and sleep I did! And it was sweet.
Got to London at 16.33, I wasn’t gonna call my Aunt and let her bother with sending someone to get me……No……I was gonna go all the way to her house…All by myself…easy….well easy if London Transport is on your side. Long story short, I was hoping on and off trains….at least I wasn’t lost or anything.
So…got on the final bus to the house….these white-trash (and I say this in a non-racist form…I mean they were Caucasian and they were trashy, thus the term white-trash…why their race has to be highlighted is for a whole nother blog) anyway, they came with some new puppies they had just acquired, licking them, kissing them, u know how they do, nasty stuff. Anyway some Nigerian dude on the bus got into a verbal exchange with one of them coz they didn’t show him enough respect “Im older than your father”, said he, “Whatever” said she. Lol anyway, it wasn’t heated or nothing, but everyone could hear. Then they- white trash inc. began discussing men and how men are this and that, to the hearing of everyone else. Anyway, I’m here now at my second home…or fourth home. 1st- Arnhem 2nd- Opukuma 3rd- Sunderland 4th- London. Who would have thought, a young rascal living in the Ibadan projects (hey! There was no running water) would go and ‘conquer’ Europe!

Sunglasses for Laura

Hope you like them, if you don't; too bad